Book, Line, & Sinker: August 3rd

In March, August 3rd seemed like such a long way away. I could handle that I go back to work and Gavin would start school on August 3rd. In June, August 3rd was still a ways away, and Gavin and I had the entire summer before us. On July 31st, August 3rd was way too close. On Monday, August 3rd came. Ready or not.

I arose from my slumber around 5am, listening to Gavin move around in his crib in his sleep. I was up by 5:25 and ready at 6 to get Gavin up. I fed him and had him dressed by 6:45. Over our morning bowl of cereal, Dave and I discussed the day and the drop off. Then because Gavin was yawning in his bouncy seat, Dave asked, "What if he falls asleep on the drive there? Are you going to carry him in in his car seat?"

"No. I'll get him out because I want to wake him up. I don't want to leave him there asleep. I don't want him to wake up and not know where he is." Begin the tears. Leave him. How can I leave him? What if he doesn't nap? Will they rock him and bounce him and cajole him to get him to nap? Will he just be exhausted when he gets home? How will I survive?

I got up to grab a napkin to wipe my eyes lest my tears make marks down my face through my make up and blush (I've been wearing waterproof mascara for years; I need to start looking for waterproof blush). When I returned Dave was wiping a way a tear. And so, I cried again.

Of course as it was time to go, Gavin had a dirty diaper that needed to be changed. Dave changed Gavin; I loaded the car. Dave came downstairs sniffing after the diaper--must have been some dirty diaper.

Gavin studied Mallory and Buford on the way to school, chewing on occasion. When we arrived Ms. Kim opened the door for us. She said hi to Gavin and walked us down to the room. We filled out forms, put away milk, and got settled. Dave walked around the room with Gavin showing him all the cool toys he would have to play with. And then it was time. We handed our most prized possession over to Ms. Kim. (At this age, I feel I do possess him, I know in time, my "possession" of him will become less and less until he is his own little man.)

Gavin snuggled up on Ms. Kim's shoulder. We took a picture, mustered all of our courage, and walked out the door. Making a stop at the front desk to discuss payment and sign the contract, there was no more reason to linger. We had to leave. Out in the parking lot hugs and tears. I knew I couldn't cry too much; I only have to drive 1,584 feet to work. (Yes, a whopping 3/10 of a mile.)

Gavin had a great day. He napped only 30 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the afternoon. He was laying on the floor resting his head on a cute yellow square pillow chewing on a toy when I walked in. Dean was sitting next to him shaking a toy. I sat down and played with the boys for a minute while I talked with Ms. Tiffany. Then, I gathered Gavin up and headed out. I was surprised I didn't get any smiles out of him and asked him if he was mad at me. On the drive home, he fell asleep about 5 minutes from the house, so I drove around a bit to let him nap a while longer. When I took him upstairs after he awakened, he was all smiles as I changed his diaper.

Hopefully this will get easier for Mama and Dad.